Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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