Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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