im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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