It's Friday. Sex?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
