her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize