Betty ford says i'm here all night
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
