Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
