I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize