A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
