They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
