Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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