it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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