If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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