shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You are a genius and a whore.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
