I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
