The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
