come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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