You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize