and you said cock pushups were impossible
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So apparently I’m into choking now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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