I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
