i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The uberlube is also flammable
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
