break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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