She said her name was "party"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
