Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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