I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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