you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
