my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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