My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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