we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have tasted many bathrooms
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
