i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
