Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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