If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
