Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize