One girl and one boy is just not enough.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
