My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
