I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
