I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
