You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
