I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
