Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
