Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
