I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
don't judge my taste in strippers
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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