so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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