She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
