He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
