so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
