Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
