I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
