Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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