My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
