but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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