she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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