well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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