As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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