I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize