Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
home. puking in laundry basket.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize