this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
COCAINE IS GR8
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
