Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
