For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
